Replying to an “Age Appropriate Chores” promoter.

I disagree. You wrote “Making kids do chores is one of the science-backed things parents must do to raise well rounded kids.” Wrong! These studies are flawed. Studies on subjects like this cannot happen because each family is different and there are too many variables. Plus, they go against reality. Many children who grew up without chores are very successful adults when some adults who had chores as kids are today unsuccessful.

You wrote, “Let's consider why it is important to allow kids do chores” Allowing is very different to making. Allowing means, the child wants to. I am sure that no child wants to be loaded with all the chores in your “age appropriate” list. That as child can do something does not mean it should become their responsibility. Loading kids with responsibilities can cause stress and psychological illnesses.

You write, “*they learn responsibility *they learn team work” Those things can be taught very successfully in other ways like for example taking schoolwork seriously, taking part in a sport. No need for chores to teach them.

You wrote, “*it teaches self-reliance *it helps to build work ethics” First of all toddlers and pre-schooners have no need to have self-reliance. That is a dangerous concept. Even if they do the chores they are NOT self-reliant. They cannot survive without being taken care of by adults. But self-reliance and work ethic can be taught in many other ways like schoolwork, homework, sports, learning a skill like an art, etc. No need to be loaded with chores.

You wrote, “*it helps to increase or reinforce respect (towards parents or others who have been doing the chores)” Actually if you force a child to do chores or pay him or her to do them you lose all respect. Only if a child WANTS to help you gain respect. But what you say is silly anyway. A child learns to respect those who do the chores by learning empathy, love and how a chore is done. No need to do them all the time. Plus, kids have their own works to do like homework for school which teaches respect for the work of others.

“*it gives families the chance to bond” So do board games, playing together, going for walks, etc. And are much for wholesome and fun. No need for chores.

You wrote, “However, we cannot over emphasize the many positive benefits of giving kids chores.” Actually the truth is that forcing and bribing kids to do the parents housework HAS NO positive benefit. It causes bitterness or “I pay me for everything” attitude. Only encouraging a child who wants to help, teaching skills [not in order to add them as chores], teaching kids to have manners [picking up their toys, etc.] has benefits but the majority of “age appropriate chores” are not the child’s responsibility but the parents and we all know that. Allow kids to be kids and stop this nonsense of trying to create mini adults who do all the housework. Enough!