Child exploitation and the “chore” concept.

Child exploitation is the act of using a minor child for profit, labour, sexual gratification or some other personal or financial advantage. So in reality any act of an adult using a child for personal benefit is exploiting the child. Sadly, today some forms of child exploitation are perfectly legal in most of the world. Child labour laws are really a joke and can be easily manipulated. As for children being exploited for profit and labour in the family setting there is virtually no protection at all. All a parent has to do is provide evidence that the child is getting an education and that’s it. The parent can use the child as much as he or she likes. The law in most areas does not provide children with any protection from being deprived from play and rest. Also it is worth mentioning that children can be forced to literally work with chores, etc. non-stop from the time they return from school until they go to bed at night, as long as they have a break in order to complete their schoolwork. As for kids from 2 years of age until compulsory schooling age there is no protection at all from work exploitation within the family. The law is clearly flawed in this area giving too much freedom to parents who use their kids under clever but empty rationalizations.

According to law sites “Children doing household chores in their own home, and children in domestic work (in a third party household) might perform similar tasks. However, in the first case, the employment element is missing…” [http://www.ilo.org/ipec/areas/Childdomesticlabour/lang--en/index.htm] thus it is not classified as “child labour”, as we see then it’s all really about semantics. Since the parent has not employed the child therefore the child has no protection at all. The only concern from a legal point of view is that it doesn’t interfere with the child's education. The law disregards totally the child’s need for play [very important] and rest.

But the problem of parents exploiting their kids under the concept of “chores” [which really refers to the child doing parts of the housework instead of the parent] is moral and ethical. The law allows child labour within the family [no matter how it chooses to call it, its all about semantics]. Also some schools have been found in Japan and Africa to employ child labour, under various rationalizations, instead of employing janitors, etc. The truth is that in both cases i.e. parents and schools, the rationalizations and excuses don’t matter. The real issue is that these parents have found a good excuse not to do their housework and load it on the kids [even as young as 2 years of age!] and the schools by forcing the students to do the work save money on paying janitors, etc. In both cases we have adults using children for their own benefit thus exploiting them.

Child exploitation of this kind is not a new thing, it always happened. The difference is that today its advertised in a “positive” way by various people and groups. Also so called “appropriate age” chore lists have been published listing about 10 different chores for each age group. If we take into account that a 2-year-old will be forced to do 10 chores and a 10-year-old a specific list of other 10 “appropriate chores” plus everything that belongs to the preceding age groups, then we have in the end the child doing all the housework! This is the dream of every lazy parent and now they have rationalized excuses for it in order to give the impression that it’s for the “good” of the child when in fact it is for the benefit of the lazy parent.

There is also a confusion concerning what a chore is, thus we find parents saying that they make their children complete 5 chores a day but when one looks at what is included one sees that the concept is confused.

Examples: Washing your hands before supper, eating your breakfast, practicing your guitar, taking the dog for a walk, putting away the toys you just played with, being kind, not being rude are not chores. Some are just good manners and others are simple every day activities. A child required to do his schoolwork is not doing a chore. A chore is a household or other job. Examples: Wash the dishes, mop the floor, take out the garbage, mow the lawn, bring firewood, etc. Everything that normally a parent is required to do in order to provide a home and safe environment for the child. A job that a person without kids who did not have time to do would pay an employee to do, like a cleaner or a gardener. And here is why forcing children to do these jobs is really using them as free or in other cases underpaid labour. Again the law allows this under the assumption of “teaching” the child but if we take into account that nobody would do a household chore for you without due pay [except if they wanted to help] and if we also take into account that forcing people to work against their will in any other case is illegal and is the definition of slavery then we see that the law allows children to be treated literally as slaves under the false assumption that the parents would not exploit their own children which is false. Parents, of course not all, always have exploited their children.

When a parent forces a child to mop the floors or else the child will be deprived from playing with his iPhone or even worse in cases where corporal punishment [spanking] is involved to enforce chores then the child is literally being exploited and I believe that its time the Law recognized this and protected children. The idea that children are the property of their parents to use as things is utterly wrong and unchristian. Using human beings of any age should be illegal but sadly children are not protected. Thus a lazy person can have 5 kids just to use as free labour and benefit from them.

Excuses.

Now let’s see the various excuses given.

• Chores teach work ethic and responsibility. I have seen this one on various websites. The fact is though that children have already a job that is designed to teach work ethic, that job is school, education. Not only is the child required to attend school which makes him or her responsible of getting to a job on time and follow the requirements of that job but also loads kids with work to be completed at home. So the child learns to complete assignments for their job at off working hours. School education is the best teacher in work ethic so using chores doesn’t add anything to it. Actually enforcing chores via the threat of punishment teaches the child that his parents can use him or her [and nothing more]. A person who is being used is not learning any work ethic but inwardly resents the forced work. As soon as that person is free or stronger than the parent he or she will throw the load away.

• Chores teach discipline. First of all, chores should never be used as a means to discipline a child. Using chores that way will only create people who associate work with punishment. Such association will create a bad work ethic and a person who will do whatever to get out of doing work which he sees as a bad thing. Also chores on their own do not instil discipline. A disciplined person is a person who does a needed job even when he doesn’t feel like it but such a person has learned to want and need to do it. Thus in order for chores to instil discipline, the child should have learned to feel an inward need to get things done. This does not happen by forcing the child to do jobs but is done by modelling this behaviour in front of the child. Thus a parent who by example shows that he or she does chores because they are needed to be done and doesn’t swift that responsibility on others will teach this value to the kids. On the other hand, putting the kids to do what he or she doesn’t feel like doing just teaches that if we can bully someone else in doing our chores… go for it! Also when the child is finally free from parental “law” will resent doing that which he did against his will and won’t be a disciplined person.

• Chores teach helping. Here is the biggest misconception of all. Forcing chores doesn’t teach helping because what the child is doing isn’t helping. When a human being is forced to complete a job, its forced labour and when not paid then its free forced labour. As the child is not helping but working against his will then he is not a helper. A helper works willingly and chose to help.

• Chores teach skills. One doesn’t need to force his children to do chores in order to teach skills. One can teach skills and things as fun activities and of course a child is not needed to do the job that involves the specific skill all the time. Examples: Cooking, baking, moping, sweeping, etc. all these things are very easy to teach children and don’t need to develop into chores. Also they aren’t rocket science, anyone can really learn them at any point in life.

The simple fact is that many people, including me, have grown up not forced to do chores and yet we have work ethic, we are responsible, we have self-discipline, we offer our help freely to others and we can do our housework. So the truth is that all these are empty excuses made up in order to convince parents to use their kids and believe me… many parents are lazy anyway so jump to it… if junior cleans the living room then mommy won’t have to. So mommy uses junior in order to benefit herself.

The difference.

There is a big difference between the role of a parent and a minor child in the family setting. The parents are the ones who chose the responsibility of taking care of a child. Parents are required by law to provide food, shelter, clothing, medical care, education, etc. to their children. It’s not the child’s job to take care of the parent but the parents of the child. Children have no keep to earn. The parents are obligated to “keep” them. It’s the parents who should earn the keep. The house belongs to the parents and the housework is the parent’s responsibility not the children’s. Any parent who forces a child to take on that responsibility is trying to get rid of their own responsibility. Children are not adults, children are not guests, children are children.

Childhood has needs. When humans start walking around they have a need to get to know their world. They do that by playing and examining things. Forcing 2 or 3 year olds to do “age appropriate” chores is really criminal. There are things a 2-year-old can do but that doesn’t mean that forcing him or her to do it as a “responsibility” is correct. Stressing out a child from the tender age of 2 could really harm the human’s mental health. It’s shocking that the “chore” pushing “experts” do not [?] see this. Children need play. Play is very important in childhood, maybe the most important things. Children need education. Children need plenty of rest. Modern society is confusing children with adults. A child cannot have adult responsibilities, when he gets to adulthood he will have them… no need to worry. Also older children get already stressed out with their primary job [school] they don’t need further stress added on them. Again these things are of paramount importance.

Helping.

Children should be encouraged to help. But helping is something encouraged and modelled not something forced. We help because we want to help. There was this little boy who saw his mom was tired and offered to mop the floor so she could rest, that child was a helper indeed and this is good. In another case a mother asks a child “Please Johnny, could you wash the dishes tonight? Mommy is tired” notice no threat. I tell you that in 99% of the time the child will be willing to, but if not then mom should not punish Johnny. Dad could get up and say that he will do it because it’s terrible to allow poor mom to do it when so tired. Believe me Johnny will note this. Maybe dad will at this point ask Johnny if he reconsidered and would like to help. Johnny with encouragement and praise [not bribes] is in the process of becoming a helper. You cannot create a helper by force. A helping spirit is encouraged and cultivated. Most little ones are eager to help, they feel they are doing “grown up stuff”. If the parents encourage the child, praise the child and the child feels good about the accomplishment then the helping spirit will grow in the child. If the child is often asked in a loving way to help because he or she is such a great helper, helping will become a second nature. This can never be accomplished by forcing chores on kids.

Manners.

Now there is something some people confuse with forcing chores i.e. good manners.

Examples:

• Little Billy takes out from the toy box various toys and plays with them being required to put them back in the box after playing with them is not a chore. A good mannered child won’t just leave his toys for mommy to put back. Making a child pick up the toys after finishing playing with them is not forcing a chore.

• Mary comes home and takes off her jacket. Mary should put her jacket in the cupboard not just throw it on the floor… again that is not a chore.

• Jack came home with mud on his boots, he should take them off before entering. Taking his dirty boots off is not a chore.

Not everything a parent requires a child to do is a chore. Let’s say going to bed at 9:00 o’ clock is not a chore, brushing your teeth is not a chore, saying “thank you” is not a chore… I can’t believe I had to point these things out.

Conclusion.

Forcing kids to do chores is wrong not only it can cause stress on the child but also does the opposite things than “chore” proponents say they are trying to accomplish. The child’s job is not housework but school, school work and play. Children need plenty of rest. Encouraging children to help is good but helping is never forced. Modelling behaviours teaches children. Bribing children to help teaches them that whatever they do should be paid. Giving praise, hugs and kisses is the right way to go. Forcing children to do chores might not be illegal but its ethically wrong. If you love someone you don’t use them. These things have not been written to offend anyone. Parents are human and make mistakes. It is very egoistic to think that you made none. Allow these facts to sink in you. What you did in the past you did, you did it out of love even if wrong. But now change your views, correct them and help kids have better lives. Good childhoods are important for healthy, emotionally stable adults. Let’s break the circle of this kind of child exploitation.

God Bless!